Once there were two bears. Big Bear and Little Bear. Big Bear is the big bear, and Little Bear is the little bear. They played all day in the bright sunlight. When night came, and the sun went down, Big Bear took Little Bear home to the Bear Cave….
There was a time — and it doesn’t seem that long ago, I might add — that this gentle book was read in our own Bear Cave on a daily basis. I know there are other Big Bear and Little Bear books, but we never had them. We had just this one—Can’t You Sleep Little Bear? And we loved it — both the kids and the parents.
The kids delighted in the little jokes in the words and illustrations. Big Bear is the big bear and Little Bear is the little bear was hilarious to #1 Son. Darling Daughter loved Little Bear’s acrobatics in bed when he was supposed to be settling down to sleep. (She was perhaps all too inspired by them, in fact.)
And I loved it because….well, Can’t You Sleep Little Bear is one of those books that features inspired parenting. As a parent who read a lot to the kids, I always appreciated having parental role models in the books I read — wise and understanding mothers, kind and empathetic fathers. Parents who seem to be at their best in sometimes difficult or harried circumstances (like with the child who won’t go to sleep) — not perfect, seldom perfect, in fact — but rather, simply wise people who know how to take a deep breath, ask a pertinent question, and lead the child through to the resolution if there was one to be had.
Big Bear is an inspirational Dad. He may be exhausted, but he has remarkable patience at the end of a day spent playing in bright sunlight. Sure, he grumbles a bit that he has to put down his Bear Book just when it’s getting to the interesting part — but he does put it down, and he gently addresses the situation, with nary a hint of impatience. Again and again he goes to his Little Bear who is turning flip-flops on the bed and says “Can’t you sleep, Little Bear?” (He does not yell from the other room: “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, WILL YOU GO TO SLEEP?!”)
And when Little Bear says he’s scared, Big Bear does not say “There’s nothing to be afraid of…” No, he asks what Little Bear is scared about. “I don’t like the dark,” [says] Little Bear. Big Bear asks a clarifying question. “What dark?” And Little Bear tells him,“The dark all around us.” (We used to divvy up these lines when we read the book together. I’d say “What dark?” and they’d say, “The Dark All Around!” with very dramatic inflection.)
Big Bear looks, and he sees that the dark part of the cave is very dark, so he goes to the Lantern Cupboard and brings a small light to Little Bear. He does this several times, in fact. A larger light each time.
It’s the Lantern Cupboard that gets me. Each time Little Bear protests the dark, Big Bear brings a larger light to vanquish the darkness that is all around. From the Lantern Cupboard. I’d read that and think: shouldn’t we all have a Lantern Cupboard? With different sized lights as might be needed for different and particular situations? I’m sure I’d be a better parent if I had access to a Lantern Cupboard.
In the end, the Big Bear and Little Bear leave the Bear Cave and go out where the darkness really is all around. And Little Bear is scared, but Big Bear encourages him to look . “Look at the dark, Little Bear.” And little bear does. In the safety of Big Bear’s arms, he looks at the darkness. And in the midst of the vast darkness, he sees the moon and the twinkly stars, too.
And this, I think, is what it is to parent — Lantern Cupboard or no. We light the lights against the darkness…we go with them when and where we can…we offer our love with our strong arms wrapped around them so they can be brave and look out at all that is out there…and, hopefully, be surprised by the moon and the twinkly stars, too.