Cuddly Companions Can Hold Our Heartaches and Happiness

What do you see in your mind’s eye when you read these names: Pooh, Knuf­fle Bun­ny, Cor­duroy? And let’s not for­get Ber­nice. Do they call to mind some­thing small and trea­sured? Some­thing that feels both real and mag­i­cal because it’s so dear­ly loved? (Nev­er mind that Ber­nice, a lit­tle girl’s beloved but­ter­nut squash, is also some­thing to…eat.)

The Velveteen RabbitThese char­ac­ters in children’s lit­er­a­ture take on what Margery Williams, author of The Vel­veteen Rab­bit, described as a real­ness that’s earned: “‘Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that hap­pens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time — not just to play with, but REALLY loves you — then you become Real.’” Adored child­hood bestie-beast­ies were our safe space. Inan­i­mate but inti­mate. They heard our secrets, caught our tears, and slept cozi­ly in our arms.

Did you have a beloved stuffie or doll — one you hung onto no mat­ter how many years passed? If you were to close your eyes and think back, could you con­jure up the tex­ture of that dear, one-of-a-kind lit­tle friend? Can you almost smell its sin­gu­lar scent?

three white kitties
I still love them to this day.

When I was a tod­dler, I had a series of stuffed white kit­ties I loved to pieces — lit­er­al­ly. I can remem­ber their soft­ness and that ever-famil­iar whiff of fur, fill­ing, and mask­ing tape that held the rips togeth­er. I recent­ly asked my 86-year-old father about the kit­ties my par­ents had to keep buy­ing me because I’d be incon­solable when­ev­er one was lost or fell apart: “Your moth­er and I would stock up on stuffed cats because you’d wear them out every few months by car­ry­ing them every­where. Late at night, we’d care­ful­ly take the old, worn-out kit­ty and sub­sti­tute a brand new one. We couldn’t always find an exact replace­ment, though we tried. This went on for four years!”

Kristie's stuffies
I like to imag­ine the sto­ries Kristie’s beloveds could tell.

Some of my rag­tag stuffed kit­ties still live on … in a box so that my dogs, who are obsessed with them, can’t reach. Every so often, I look at these time­worn toys, remem­ber­ing. I do the same when think­ing about my Aunt Kristie, who was a lover of Win­nie-the-Pooh and all things Ted­dy bear. I inher­it­ed some of her tini­est stuffed ani­mals, with their del­i­cate, artic­u­lat­ed limbs. They’re old but intact. She must have tak­en real­ly good care of them.

Inspired by old toys and the small best friends we can hold in our hands, I began writ­ing a sto­ry about a young girl and her unique sup­port sys­tem. That girl, May, often felt over­whelmed in a fast-paced, loud, and “people‑y” world. Cer­tain places and spaces were unpre­dictable and hard to fit into. But like every child, May also expe­ri­enced won­der, curios­i­ty, and a deep need to be seen for who she is. One day, May made a won­der­ful dis­cov­ery: a hairy, leg­gy stuffed spi­der left in a bar­gain bin. As soon as May invit­ed “Har­ri­et” into her world, the adven­tures — and a new sense of safe­ty — began.

Like a squash, Har­ri­et was, for some, an acquired taste. Not for May, though. Why, just think of all the amaz­ing things an eight-leg­ger can do!

Best of all, long-legged Har­ri­et was an extra-spe­cial hug­ger. With her spi­der beside her, May gained con­fi­dence explor­ing the world at her own pace, on her own terms. As a mom who has raised two neu­ro­di­ver­gent kids, I want­ed to shine a light on sen­so­ry issues and spe­cial needs. While writ­ing Make Way for Har­ri­et and May, I felt it was impor­tant to have May choose Har­ri­et her­self — and keep choos­ing her, no mat­ter what oth­ers said. That’s part of the mag­ic of child­hood: pick­ing your first fur­ry friend and keep­ing it close, even as it becomes fad­ed and tat­tered over time.

Gen­er­al­ly, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shab­by. But these things don’t mat­ter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to peo­ple who don’t under­stand.” (The Vel­veteen Rab­bit)

Time makes our beloved stuffies or toys more beau­ti­ful, at least in our own eyes. Like my crew of kit­ties. Like a stuffed bun­ny with a fun­ny name. Like a hug­gable gourd with a mag­ic-mark­er face. Or like the spe­cial toys you had way back when.

New York Public Library collection of stuffed animals
The New York Pub­lic Library hous­es these trea­sures: the orig­i­nal Edward Bear (renamed Win­nie-the-Pooh), once held dear by Christo­pher Robin Milne whose father was A. A. Milne, the cre­ator of the famed sto­ries. Christopher’s oth­er stuffed friends, plus the addi­tion­al Owl and Rab­bit, became the sto­ry­book dwellers of the Hun­dred Acre Wood, drawn by artist Ernest H. Shepard. 

If you want to take a fur­ther look into the top­ic of com­fort crea­tures, I’ve list­ed some pic­ture books that have inspired me:

Cor­duroy
writ­ten and illus­trat­ed by Don Free­man
The Viking Press, 1968

This ten­der clas­sic, told from the stuffie’s per­spec­tive, cel­e­brates an over­alls-clad Ted­dy bear who resides in a busy depart­ment store. He hopes to be cho­sen by a child who will adore him and take him home. His miss­ing but­ton deters some…but not Lisa, a lit­tle girl who sees Corduroy’s sim­ple and lov­able charm.

Knuf­fle Bun­ny: A Cau­tion­ary Tale
writ­ten and illus­trat­ed by Mo Willems
Hype­r­i­on, 2004

A Calde­cott-Hon­or book, Knuf­fle Bun­ny tells the endear­ing tale of how tod­dler Trix­ie and her wide-eyed stuffed bun­ny have a prob­lem at the local laun­dro­mat. “AGGLE FLAGGLE KLABBLE!” Is Knuf­fle B. lost for­ev­er? First friends — and first words — are the theme. Knuf­fle Bun­ny Too and Knuf­fle Bun­ny Free are sure-to-please fol­low-ups to the orig­i­nal story.

Lub­na and Peb­ble
writ­ten by Wendy Med­dour
illus­trat­ed by Daniel Egneus
Dial Books, 2019

This heart­break­ing-heart­warm­ing book, which has won mul­ti­ple awards, intro­duces a refugee girl named Lub­na and the tiny peb­ble that brings her com­fort dur­ing uncer­tain times. Peb­ble has a face drawn with a felt-tip pen and lives in a shoe­box. Lub­na loves Peb­ble, who always “… lis­tened to her sto­ries [and] always smiled when she felt scared.” When a lit­tle boy arrives in the World of Tents, Lub­na real­izes that he might need Peb­ble even more than she does.

Nub­by
writ­ten by Dan Richards
illus­trat­ed by Shan­da McCloskey
Knopf Books for Young Read­ers, 2023

This book is a laugh-out-loud-er. Poor Nub­by (a stuffed rab­bit): on page one, he is done. He has absolute­ly had it with being “… car­ried, buried, dropped, dragged, torn, worn, chewed on, sat on, and even used as a nose wipe” by the boy who loves him — and the fam­i­ly dog too. Nub­by sets out to find fame, for­tune, and a bet­ter life. But what he learns along the way is alto­geth­er unex­pect­ed (at least to him). Maybe all those repeat­ed nuz­zles and squeezes were what made him real. And real hap­py, too.

Owen
writ­ten and illus­trat­ed by Kevin Henkes
Green­wil­low Books, 1993

In this Calde­cott-Hon­or-win­ning sto­ry, Owen is a child­like mouse who adores his yel­low blan­ket named Fuzzy. Fuzzy goes every­where with Owen — inside, out­side, upstairs, down­stairs, and every­where in between — just as any good com­fort object should. But what about school? Can you real­ly car­ry a torn and tat­tered, food-stained fuzzy all day long? There just might be a pock­et-sized solu­tion to Owen’s big dilemma.

Sophie’s Squash
writ­ten by Pat Ziet­low Miller
illus­trat­ed by Anne Wilsdorf

Anoth­er clas­sic award win­ner, this book intro­duces Sophie and her beloved but­ter­nut squash — “Ber­nice” — that Mom wants to cook for din­ner. “Don’t lis­ten, Ber­nice!” The les­son here is that friends come in all shapes, sizes … and fla­vors. Togeth­er, Sophie and her squash spend their days som­er­sault­ing, cud­dling, and liv­ing the good life. But what hap­pens when Ber­nice shows signs of aging, spot­ting, and rot­ting? Eek! Nev­er fear, Sophie is here. A sweet tale about a unique, fun­ny, and endur­ing friendship.

I called her Snowflake.

As you can see, I love a good “stuffie” sto­ry. I hope my book Make Way for Har­ri­et and May pro­vides a relat­able hero for young read­ers, while cel­e­brat­ing the unique — and hug­gable — com­fort objects they hold dear.

Oh, one last thing: It’s true my par­ents spent four years trad­ing out small stuffed kit­ties in the dark of night as I slept. But look what hap­pened when I turned five!

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8 Comments
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Steve Palmquist
Steve Palmquist
6 months ago

Great arti­cle, Eliz­a­beth! It makes me won­der if the way stuffed ani­mals become real to chil­dren is the start of the sto­ry­teller part of young brains try­ing to make sense of the world around them.

Elizabeth Verdick
Reply to  Steve Palmquist
6 months ago

Steve, thanks! I think you must be right about that…I nev­er thought of the sto­ry­teller aspect but it makes so much sense. Now, look­ing back, I remem­ber act­ing out sto­ries with my lit­tle cats. 🙂

Suzanne Weiss
Suzanne Weiss
6 months ago

As your sis­ter, you already know what kind of hug­gable besties I had as a kid and now because of Aunt Kristie, I have loved ted­dy bears for too many years. I love the arti­cle and I am shocked you still have those kit­ties. As old as I am now, I still have many hug­gable friends and love all of them. You’re a great writer !

Elizabeth Verdick
Reply to  Suzanne Weiss
6 months ago

Thanks, Suzanne! Remem­ber how the two of us would arrange our stuffed ani­mals “just so” on our beds? As if it was the most seri­ous task of the day! Ha!

David LaRochelle
6 months ago

In my bed­room I still have Snug­gles, the stuffed dog my sis­ter made for me when I was about six, by cut­ting out a print­ed pat­tern on fab­ric and sewing the the two halves togeth­er, like a cush­ion. It’s unthink­able of ever throw­ing him away.

Con­grat­u­la­tions on your new book, Eliz­a­beth! I bet it will have lots of fans!

Elizabeth Verdick
Reply to  David LaRochelle
6 months ago

Thanks, Dave! It’s fun to hear about “Snug­gles the Dog.” I’d love to see a picture!

John V. Smith
John V. Smith
6 months ago

You might delete this, but I agree with you about how impor­tant our child­hood toys are. A few years ago I start­ed a web­site http://www.saidtheskinhorse.com to cel­e­brate these spe­cial toys. It’s a labor of love, I don’t make any mon­ey fron the site — it’s just a place for peo­ple to share pic­tures and some­times sto­ries of their favorite toys. Right now we have around 1,600 toys on the site!

Elizabeth Verdick
Reply to  John V. Smith
6 months ago

Thank you for shar­ing, John! I appre­ci­ate this labor of love…